How to Annoy the Boogeyman and Get Away With It
by Rainbowcrystle
Summary: Do you think Pitch deserved to be sucked down that hole by his nightmares? Of course not! This is much better torture. From birthdays to field trips to cruises in outer space, Pitch gets a Dark Forest of a time from the Second Most Annoying Thing In Existence (that's me, in case you were wondering)!
1. The Cruise Ship In Outer Space

**This is so stupid, but I think it's funny. This is dedicated to my friend, Ana, who loves _Rise of the Guardians_ and helped me writes parts and develop ideas. I hope everyone likes it!**

Would you like to know what happens to really mean people I don't like? I unleash the power of being The Second Most Annoying Thing In Existence on them. Sometimes, if my friend is there, I get them to help me.

Ana and Olivia were chilling out in Olivia's room. Ana had popped by for a visit and to stay over for the night. They were huge fans of RotG, among other things, and were reading the books and writing stories. Olivia glanced over the newest book, _T__he Sandman and the War on Dreams, _when she came across a picture. A picture of someone. Someone in need of a beat down. And maybe a hug.

"You know what, Ana?" Olivia blurted out.

"What?"

"I wish I come go back and have a few words with this guy-" she indicated the illustration. "-and you could be you there with me, and I could play my iPod. We could show the world just how annoying we are!" Olivia slammed her fist down onto the book, feeling very goofy and dramatic.

"Yeah!" Ana agreed.

The two friends felt energy buzz underneath their skin, but then realized they were vibrating. Olivia attempted to look at Ana but blackness flooded her eyes.

Ana and Olivia awoke to the sight of wood.

"Am I in a barrel?" Ana exclaimed.

Olivia peeked out of a crack in her confinement. "We're on a SHIP!"

"We are?" Ana gasped. "Whoa! We _are _in barrels.. on a ship!"

Both girls gazed at the place they woke up in. There were stars littering the sky, smatterings of strange people enjoying themselves, and a hot tub. The ship was dark and creepy, but had been ironically strewn with balloons and party drinks. Yeah, the ones with the little umbrellas. It was like a nightmare pirate ship transformed into a cruise ship.

Ana saw a tall, gaunt man lounging in the hot tub. He had pale skin and black hair that looked as if someone had slicked it back with their hand and applied hair spray. Like the vessel, he was dressed in apparel that didn't quite match his 'look.' This outfit consisted of one of those old time-y bathing suits (with black and blue stripes) and sunglasses. He, too, had a party drink.

"Olivia, look at that guy in the hot tub!" Ana exclaimed.

"Yeah! He looks really weird!" Her friend replied.

"Who's ready to... DANCE!" A voice roared in gravelly tones.

" I AM!" Olivia yelled, tumbling out of her barrel, popping up, and breaking into 80's style dancing. The various passengers gawked at the girl. Ana escaped as well, but asked one of the passengers, "Is there a snack bar on this ship?"

"Who are you?" That same whatever-the-heck-it-was challenged her.

Olivia dropped her dance movements and zipped over to Ana. "I'm your worst nightmare!" she growled, and then added in a cheerful voice. "And this is my super awesome friend, Ana!"

The Hot Tub Guy left his spot, grabbed a nearby towel, and made his way over. When he stood in front of the two buddies, he whipped off his shades and gave them the stare down.

"Raulin, are these two stowaways that snuck aboard at our last stop?" The guy asked a creature standing beside him.

Olivia snapped her fingers at him, before the other being could answer, and said, "Excuse me, _I _was talking, not you."

"Olivia," Ana hissed. "Don't anger them, they might have rabies!"

The man, with his extensive height, leaned down toward Olivia and Ana. "Heed the words of your friend, girl, or you will see the extent of my powers."

He straightened up, about to address Raulin. "Now-"

"So you have rabies?" Olivia interrupted.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. What are-" The vampire-like man began.

"Where are we?" Olivia asked.

"We left the Orion Constellation two standard days ago, m'lord." Raulin reported.

"_Orion?_" Ana exclaimed.

"Yes, we had important business to conduct there," the man muttered absent -mindedly to them.

"We're in _outer space?!_" Ana continued.

"We _are?_" Olivia ejaculated. "How are we not _dead?_"_  
><em>

"Ships are designed to emit air needed to survive," another passenger explained, grinning. "Just don't expect that to be true for long!"

"Are you a vampire?" Olivia interrogated the Hot Tub Guy.

"_Must _you plague me with questions?" He growled.

"Is this a cruise ship?" she continued.

"Are you dense?" He snarled.

"My devious plan to annoy is working!" Olivia yelled. "Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

The Hot Tub Guy shouted, "Raulin, tie them up!"'

As the Dream Pirate (for that was what he was) stepped forward, Ana warned, "There better be Dr. Pepper!"

"Lord Pitch," one of the crew members said, coming forward. "Will we drain them of their dreams?"

"Of course," he replied, scoffing. "But this one here-" he glared at Olivia, "is mine."

"I have a name, you know!" Olivia objected.

"What is it, then?" questioned Pitch, mockingly.

Olivia paused for a moment, a brilliant idea flashing into her mind. "I suck."

"Well, I suck-" The captain began, but was drowned out by Olivia and Ana roaring with laughter. They dropped to the floor, rolling around. Whenever they began regaining their breath, they remembered how funny it was and continued laughing.

"What is so funny?" Pitch demanded.

Olivia struggled up into a sitting position and gasped for breath to explain. "Don't you know what 'suck' means in slang lingo?"

"Obviously not."

"It means your lame or terrible... _really _lame or terrible."

"I see."

The two girls picked themselves up, as Raulin asked, "Should I throw them below deck, m'lord?"

"You can throw yourself down there, because we are going to cause more chaos!" Olivia declared.

And with that, Olivia ran off with Ana at her heels.

"Get them!" The captain of the ship roared.

The two girls ran off to a door and flung it open. They disappeared inside and slammed the shut. One turn of a lock later, they were barricaded in a room new to their knowledge.

"Hey, look," Ana said, pointing at a wardrobe. "We can go to Narnia!"

"Okay, let's try it!" Olivia agreed, stepping up to the wardrobe and opening it. "Aw, I can see the back; there's no portal to Narnia here!"

"But look!" Ana pointed out. "There's some strange clothes in here!"

The apparel that lined the portable closet was all black. There were several robes, a pair of silk pajama top and bottoms, a pirate style outfit, and an empty hanger.

Olivia developed a serious mood full of excitement. "Ana! We're in the story! We are on the actual ship of Kozmotiz Pitchner! What the Dark Forest is going on here!?"

"You're just now figuring that out?" Ana laughed.

"Of course not!" Olivia exclaimed. "We were too pre-occupied earlier to discuss it!"

"Oh, okay," Ana replied. "What next?"

"What do _you _think?"

There was a pause as Ana glanced at the wardrobe. The crew could be heard growling and arguing with each other outside.

"Dibs on the robes!" Ana yelled, snatching one off the hanger and wiggling into it. Olivia laughed maniacally and removed a pair of black space-bunny slippers, shoving them on her bare feet. She, too, took a robe and slipped in on.

"Now we are invincible!" Ana declared.

"Time to walk the run way!" Olivia said, running to, unlocking, and flinging open the door. The two friends began dramatically strutting the deck, forcing the accumulated crowd to part. As Olivia reached Pitch, she stuck and dorky pose, while Ana twirled in a circle.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music!" Ana sang-yelled.

Then, all Dark Forest broke loose. Olivia and Ana took off running around the ship. If they came across one of the Dream Pirates, they swatted the party drink out of its hand. The pair eventually reached the helm, where Ana shouted, "LOOK! I am Death! Mwa ha ha ha ha HA!"

"Free hugs for no one!" Olivia bellowed. "And your ice cream belongs to ME!"

"Take those off NOW!" Pitch roared.

"Killjoy..." Ana muttered, her eyes narrowing.

When the ex-General of the Golden Age armies reached Ana and Olivia, Olivia shouted, "And I was going to share my ice cream with you, but now I see you're just a Butt-Faced JERK with _no soul!_" Pitch shot the girl a dark look. Olivia conceded, "Okay, I'll take them off. I know how much they mean to you."

With that, she bent to remove the bunny slippers, aimed, and fired at him. After they smacked him in the face, he glanced down at the footwear and, slowly, stooped down to picked them up.

"Where did you get the notion that _I _would wear something as pathetic as _this?_"

"Because Olivia found them in your wardrobe, _duh,_" Ana retorted.

Well," remarked Olivia, "Time for a dance party!" She ran off to the D.J. station with Ana on her heels. Upon arrival, Olivia found her iHome with all her various music genres and songs. Olivia mashed the 'on' button, flicked through the selections, pushed 'It's a Beautiful Day,' and cranked the volume up to high.

That particular song was very jazzy, and so Olivia and Ana through an arm over each other's shoulders and began a two-woman kick-line.

The Hot Tub Guy, better known as Kozmotis Pitchner, raced over in the sureness that he would silence those who defied him.

"It's a beautiful day!" Olivia sang, stopping the kick line and yelled, "Jazz hands!" Both Olivia and Ana wagged their hands in the simple dance movement.

"No. Not 'jazz hands!'" The villain sneered. "Imprisonment!"

"You meant conga line, didn't you?" Olivia amended, her voice on the verge of laughter.

"I'm first!" Ana shouted as another song blasted from the speakers.

The conga line was placed on hold. "This song is no fun!" Olivia whined.

"I know!" Ana whined back. "I've got a better idea!"

She raced over to Olivia's iHome and changed the song to something random: 'Brave.'

Ana and Olivia began to dance and sing along with the song.

"Stop this instance at once!" Roared Pitch.

"Never!" Olivia screamed back.

Pitch stormed over to the two irritating girls. He was absolutely livid.

"You need to lighten up!" Olivia yelled at him.

"What is wrong with you?" He hissed.

"I'm the Second Most Annoying Thing in Existence! So, naturally, I hired Ana to help me. I'm paying her three Reece's Pieces an hour to help me!"

"What sort of currency is _that?"_

Olivia stopped dancing and put on her best 'I-am-the-know-it-all' pose. "Reece's is common currency among children." Then, she turned and skipped over to Ana.

"Hey, Ana, apparently I'm paying you three packs of Reece's Pieces an hour to help me annoy Pitch and his crew!" Olivia ejaculated.

"You are?" Ana exclaimed. "Yay! How long have we been here?"

"I dunno," Olivia said.

"You have been here approximately 42 minutes and 14 seconds," Raulin reported.

"Stalker!" Ana hissed.

"I have been simply following orders from-" Raulin began.

"Don't say his name or we shall be forced to feed you glitter!" Olivia threatened. "Now let me fill you in on some information." She gestured for Ana and Raulin to lean in for a football huddle. "Don't... get... distracted... by... the... power... OF THE MUFFIN!"

"What?" Ana exclaimed.

"Follow me!" Olivia yelled, breaking away from the huddle and running back to the room with wardrobe. The pair locked themselves in the room again. Ana began rummaging through boxes and the sparse belongings organized within the space.

"Are we messing up his room?" Olivia asked.

"No, I'm looking for the locket!" Ana explained.

"Ombric took it, remember? He took it when he time traveled to the prison scene where Pitch dropped it!" Olivia said?

"Oh, yeah... man, I wish I could see it!"

A clattering noise made Ana and Olivia jump. The two friends turned to the door, but only heard Pitch barking orders to his crew. The sound did not come from outside.

"Ana," Said Olivia, noticing something on the floor.

"What is it?"

"I think we have a genie stalker."

"What?! Why?"

Olivia pointed to the necklace on the ground.

"You're right! Help me put it on!" Ana exclaimed, snatching the jewelry off the floor. Olivia took it and draped it around her friend's neck. She took only a moment to fiddle with the clip that held the two ends together.

"Awesome!" Ana ejaculated.

"I wish my normal clothes would transform into my bathing suit!" Olivia yelled, striking a pose with her fists in the air. The girl felt the fabric of her clothes dissolve into her tankini and swim shorts. The top and bottoms were both black, but the former had crossing lines of pink, blue, yellow, and white. However, the stolen robes concealed most of this. "We do have wishes!"

"So, what next?" Ana prompted.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand!" Olivia whooped.

The two girls raced out the door.

* * *

><p>"Give it to me! It is mine!" Pitch howled. "Where did you get that? I <em>lost it!"<em>

_"We got it in that room over there," Ana replied._

_"Yeah, we be tryin' on yo bling!" Olivia said, gansta style. _

_"Well, give it back!" Pitch snarled._

_"Why is it so important to you?" Ana asked._

_"I-I lost my daughter," he stuttered. He had a far away look in his eye._

_"Aw, you need a hug!" Ana sniffled, shuffling over to latch onto the flabbergasted man. _

_"Ana!" Olivia exclaimed. "I'm not paying you three packs of Reece's Pieces an hour just to hug Pitch! Besides, he's eeeeeeeevil! How can we trust him?"_

_"Oh, well, in that case..." Ana trailed off, letting go. Then, she jammed her heel into his foot. Pitch yelped in anguish as Ana backed off to stand beside Olivia. The villain clenched together his teeth to hold in further screaming. _

_"Don't believe me? Open the locket!" The captain hissed._

_Ana dug her fingernail into the crack and wedged it open. Olivia peered over her shoulder, and the pair studied the picture of a beautiful girl with long, thick black hair. Olivia looked back to the gloating villain. _

_"Well, how do we know that's not YOUR MOTHER?!" Olivia retorted._

_"Do you honestly think that is my mother?"_

_"... Maybe..."_

_Pitch turned away, scowling. He threw his arms into the air. "Ahhhhhh! These girls are driving me crazy! Raulin! Capture them! Throw them below deck! Kill them if you have to!"_

_"You can't kill us!" Ana exclaimed. _

_"Yeah, if you do, we can't annoy you anymore, and that's just wrong!" Olivia added._

_"I will PERSONALLY deal with the two of you later!" Pitch vowed, stalking off to the hot tub. Two Dream Pirates quite literally knocked out Ana and Olivia, dragged them to the brig, and secured their capture. _

* * *

><p>Olivia was the first to force her eyes open. At first, she was afraid it had all been a wonderfully epic dream, but one glance around confirmed that she was still on said adventure. Olivia turned to find Ana sprawled out on the floor. The girl pushed herself up off her stomach and shuffled over to Ana. Olivia then began to repeatedly poke Ana, each time saying the girl's name.<p>

"Wha-?" Ana yawned.

"Wake up!" Olivia hissed. "It is time we devised the climax of our epic plans of annoying Pitch."

"Awesome! What should we do? Flash mob them?"

"We kinda already did that."

"Oo! I know... I wish Jack Frost could come and rescue us! Then he could help us annoy Pitch!"

The temperature dropped a couple of degrees as a silvery-white haired teenager stepped forward. He was clothed in a frost-covered, dark blue hoodie and tattered brown pants. The newcomer twirled the shepard's crook-like staff in his hand. "You called?"

"Awesome!" Olivia and Ana yelled. Jack grinned.

"Alright," Olivia began commanding in her most serious tone. "Jack, you have to freeze the lock off and break us out."

"Seems simple enough," the Winter Spirit said. He flew over to the door on the ceiling and studied the scenario for a few moments. Raising his staff in both hands, Jack directed a blast of icy coldness at the door. He banged the door off.

"Great! Now that you've freed us, let's go finish making chaos!" Olivia ejaculated. Ana agreed and the pair shot off.

"Okaaay," Jack muttered, but then shouted after them, "Wait up!"

* * *

><p>Night, or what functioned as night had settled over the ship. Only two sentries patrolled the ship. Olivia, Ana, and Jack snuck back to Pitch's room. There, they found the Nightmare King sleeping. He snored, sucked his thunb, and clutched his space bunny slippers in the other hand. He had rearranged the stuff Ana had riled up in her previous search.<p>

As the trio crept in, they had to cover their mouth or bite their tounges at the sight.

"Wait," Jack breathed. "Is that... PITCH?"

"Yeah, so what?" Olivia whispered.

"Um, nothing it's just... he would KILL us if he found out..."

"Oh, don't worry, Jack," Ana assured him. "This is the past. He doesn't know who you are yet!"

"Sweet!"

A thought lit inside of Ana. "Wait, Snowflake, if you want to a part of our exclusive club, you have to wear a robe."

"A robe?"

Ana tiptoed over to the wardrobe and extracted the second to last robe (that's why Pitch is covered in dust- they stole all his robes!).

"Uhhhh, is this really neccessary?" Jack stuttered. "I mean-" He eyed the the article of clothing with disgust.

"Jack, do you really hate this guy?" Olivia interrogated the sprite.

"Of course, I just don't know-"

"Do you want to annoy him and drive him crazy?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then, just do it!"

"This is really weird!" Jack muttered, scrambling into it. "Well, how do I look?"

"As misdressed as Pitch in a pink dress," Ana replied.

"Oh, you missed it earlier!" Olivia laughed. "He was wearing an old time-y bathing suit in a hot tub!"

The allies burst into snickers, and Pitch awoke, mumbling, "Who goes there?"

"The glitter ninjas!" Ana exclaimed.

Pitch bolted up, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Olivia shouted, "Merry Christmas!"

"How did you escape?" The captain blurted.

"We should go..." Jack said. The two girls agreed and they pelted out the door.

They heard, "Come back here!" And a muffled thump as Pitch tumbled onto the deck. More laughter errupted from their mouths. Olivia noticed something and halted.

"They have a swimming pool?" The girl said. "My time has come!"

Olivia shed her robes in favor of her bathing suit underneatb. Flinging them aside, she ran screaming, "Canon baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!"

Olivia plummeted into the water, sending the liquid splattering everywhere. The girl's head broke the surface of the pool. "What's my score?"

"Eh, seven," Jack replied.

"Nine!" Ana offered.

"Yes!" Olivia exclaimed, with a fist pump. "Hey, Jack, give me my goggles; they're in the robes!"

The teenage spirit used his staff to toss the clothing into the air, and then caught it. He dug around in the pockets until he came across the red and black goggles, and so tossed them to Olivia.

"Thanks," she said, putting them on. Olivia dove back under the surface.

"I wish Jack and I had our bathing suits!" Ana ejaculated. Under their robes, their clothing transformed into either dark blue swimming trunks or a black one piece with blue stripes.

"My clothes just turned into a bathing suit!" Jack exclaimed.

At that point, Olivia returned to the edge and popped out of the pool. She walked, dripping over to Jack and Ana.

Pitch burst out of his pajamas. "How DARE you do this to me?!"

"How?" Olivia echoed. "Well, let's see. Ana and I don't like you and we have natural irritation skills, so, obviously we can annoy you!"

Over the course of that conversation, Ana and Jack had removed their stolen robes. The trio ran and jumped into the water together.

"Hey!" Shouted Ana after coming to the surface. "Don't I get a inner tube with this?"

A circular floatation device materialized around the girl's waist.

Thankfully, Jack had left his shepard's crook-like staff out of the water. Otherwise, the water would have been negative six degrees instead of sixty. To the relief of Ana and Olivia, Pitch had a preference for salt water pools to regular, chlorine filled ones.

Jack got out of the pool and drew back for another canon ball. "Snowball!" He yelled, splashing into the water.

"Come out of there at once, so that I may properly deal with you three!" Pitch commanded.

"Come in and get us, you meanie! Ana challenged.

Tight lipped and without a word, the villain exitted to his quarters.

"He's afraid to get wet!" Jack whooped.

The three friends continued swimming, splashing, diving, and twirling through the water. A couple minutes passed by and a crowd of Dream Pirates amassed. They began to growl and scream out, voicing their crazed desire to steal dreams.

"No one cares!" Olivia said in a singsong voice.

"Whoa, they are ug-ly," Jack muttered.

"That's what happens when you eat too many vegetables," Olivia told him.

Pitch parted the gathering crowd. The Nightmare King had replaced his black, silk pj's for his bathing suit. Jack, Olivia, and Ana stared at him, sniggering.

"You asked for it," the captain said with a nonchalant shrug. With that, he lept into the water.

"Marco!" Ana hollered.

"Polo!" Olivia yelled back.

Jack started swimming for his staff for his staff, while Ana floated out of Pitch's path to the edge. Olivia swam off, abandoning all grace in favor of speed. Eventually, she was cornered. The girl face the man.

"Not so fearless now, are we?" Pitch sneered.

"... uh, no. I'm feeling pretty annoying still," Olivia countered.

"Not much longer!" Pitch retorted, hoisting the girl over his shoulder and climbing out of the water.

By then, Ana had made her way over to one to one of the other edges of the pool and had exited. She then scurried over to Jack, who had reached his weapon. The pair blocked Pitch's path.

"Put Olivia down!" Ana commanded.

"Carefully!" Olivia added.

"Oh, what will you do?" The captain demanded with a sneer.

"This," answered Olivia, who began to thrash around. Pitch placed her on her feet, but kept an arm around her to prevent her escape.

"Tie them up!" The Hot Tub Guy ordered.

"Okay!" Ana agreed, approaching Pitch. Jack gave her a confused glared, but smirked when she shoved her inner tube over the villain's head. Olivia dived out of the way as this was happening, while Pitch yelped in alarm, "Yenaah!"

"What is this?" He roared. The captain stumbled around, attempting to keep his balance while simultaneously removing the device which bound him.

Jack whistled and looked away, shooting out an icy blast from his staff, freezing some of the water scattered on the deck. Pitch stumbled onto this and tumbled into the pool.

"Photo time!" Ana declared, snapping several photos of the disgraced Boogeyman. Next, she and her two friends began taking some memorial selfies.

One of the Dream Pirates parted the crowd. "Sir! Sir! Sir?" It studied the scene for a moment.

"What?" Pitch barked.

"We're coming to our destination!"

"Hide and drop anchor. We have another PROBLEM to deal with first!"

"Yeah!" Olivia yelled. "We are a problem!"

"I hate you all!" Pitch bellowed back.

"Your welcome!" Ana chirped.

Jack laughed himself sick. "You... guys... are so...!"

"Well, I think we best get back," Olivia said.

"We need a souvenir!" Ana ejaculated. She bundled up the confiscated robes and distributed them to the others.

"Alright," Olivia began. "I wish Ana, Jack, and I could return to my house!"

The familiar buzz came back, crackling under their skin. The scene of stunned Dream Pirates dissolved to black.

* * *

><p>Jack sat up, groaning. Olivia was conked out at her desk, while Ana lay sprawled out on Olivia's bed. He found himself in a rather uncomfortable chair.<p>

"Hey, guys, wake up!" The Guardian said.

"I'm awake!" Olivia shouted, waking up and waking Ana.

"My glitter, Pitch!" Ana protested, flailing her arms as she awoke from a dream most likely about Pitch stealing her glitter.

"Now that we're all awke, I'm sure you won't mind having a little... chat."

The trio turned to face Pitch, now in a robe and from the present time.

"What are YOU doing here?" Jack challenged.

"Coming for my belongings!" The Nightmare King snarled. "I gone a several centuries without them!"

"Finders, keepers, losers, weepers," Ana quoted.

"Silence, you fool!" Pitch commanded, lunging towards her.

"Don't you DARE tell my friend that!" Olivia spat.

"I will do as I see fit! I am the Boogeyman! All shall fear me! And non one can do anything about it!" Pitch ranted. He was eye to eye with Olivia.

"Really?" Olivia said. "What if I did THIS?" She smacked him upside his face.

"That is enough, Father... and you as well, Olivia," a new voice spoke.

The four beings' attentions were snatched by, not Pitch this time, but his daughter, Emily Jane, more commonly referred to as Mother Nature.

"Are YOU our genie stalker?" Olivia mused.

"I suppose," the woman replied. "I did send you on your little adventure."

"Cool! Thanks fo all the wishes... and the weather and stuff you usually do!"

"Yeah, thanks!" Ana agreed.

"You are welcome," Mother Nature reciprocated. "However, I will ask: Why did you want to irritate my father?"

"It's fun!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Jack interrupted. "So, you two know him-" he gestured to Pitch. "-and think it's fun to annoy him?"

"Yeah, don't you?" Olivia inquired.

"Of course, it's just... you're a little old to believe in the Boogeyman."

Olivia gave Jack a look.

"Okay," Jack conceded, holding his palms up defensively.

"This is just getting strange," Pitch grumbled, slinking away.

"Wait!" Ana called. "Don't forget this!" She ran over to him and unfastened the necklace she still wore. The girl extended her hand out to Pitch, the locket dangling from her fingers. "You deserve it more than I do."

Pitch's demeanor of annoyance melting into surprise. He reached out for the jewelry, plam upward. Ana carefully placed it into his hand.

"Thank you," he breathed. Pitch closed his hand, and it dissappeared into his robes. The Nightmare King melted into the shadows.

Ana turned back to find Olivia hugging Jack and Mother Nature gone.

"You can let go," Jack laughed. Ana skipped over and joined the hug attack.

"Or, everyone can jus keep hugging me, too. That's great," Jack muttered.

"You know you love us," Olivia said. The sprite laughed and wrapped both of his arms around the girls. "I guess so."

"Olivia! Ana! Wash up for supper!" Olivia's mom called up the stairs.

"Coming, Mom!" Olivia yelled back. She and Ana let go of the Guardian.

"Hey, I guess I'll catch you two later, then. See ya!" Jack said, opening the window and climbing out.

"'Bye, Jack!" Ana reciprocated.

"Don't get stuck!" Olivia added.

The two friends made their way to the bathroom to wash up for supper. As they went, Ana suggested, "Let's not tell anyone!"

"Yeah, why ruin it?" Olivia agreed.

Yay! I finished! If you guys liked that, I might continue with some other little one - shots focused on those characters! Review if you liked it (or hated it) or want to see more! (Btw, the drawing on the story was drawn by my aforementioned firend, Ana!) 'Bye, for now!


	2. Hop on the Party Elk!

**I recieved such of positive review, so I decided to torture Pitch some more! Do you have anything to say, Pitchy Poo**

**Um, he's sitting here in silence... We're on friends terms now (I think?), so he's just chillin' out or whatever and letting me ramble... So, without further ado, jump on the Party Elk and LET THE DANCING BEGIN!**

**Oh, wait, he has something to say after all... uhp, no, he's just laughing and doing things to make me feel awkward... Enjoy the chaos...**

* * *

><p>Ana arrived in study hall to find Olivia hunched over and working on some evil assignment concocted by her science teacher, Ms. Doctor Professor Bostik. Pitch, the Nightmare King, was looming over her. Seeing this, Ana sped up, threw open the door to the cafeteria, and rushed over to the table where her friend sat.<p>

"Hey, Olivia, someone's, uh, trying to copy you?" Ana said, getting Olivia's attention without making people think that she was talking to an imaginary friend. The girl sat down, throwing concerned glances at the Boogeyman, who revealed a hint of amusement.

Olivia glanced up, tossing out a casual, "Hey," to Ana. Then, she returned her attention to her work.

"Um, Olivia? Pitch is... standing... behind... you..."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Ask him."

Ana looked at Pitch. "Why are you standing there?"

"To observe," he replied. Olivia slapped her notebook closed and packed up her books, replacing them with a pack of sticky notes. The girl began sketching out some stuff and handed it to Pitch. The Nightmare King took the slips of paper and slid them into his robes. His hand returned with a set of keys, which he deposited into Olivia's outstretched hand. Her own hand clamped over them, sliding them into her pocket.

"Nice doing business with you," Pitch said, fading into the shadows.

Ana gaped at him, and then turned to Olivia.

"Don't ask," her friend requested.

* * *

><p>When the supervising teacher dismissed the children eating breakfast and in study hall, Olivia and Ana packed up their things and shot off towards the door. The whole period of time had been distant between the girls, who usually wasted half their time giggling, sharing their ideas, and doodling. Now, Olivia, who had been silent, was near to bursting with excitement.<p>

"C'mon, Ana! We're going on a field trip!" Olivia whispered, tugging her friend away from the hall and towards the entrance- and exit. Olivia led Ana out the door and towards a vacant bus. It was obviously not the usual yellow school bus, because it was black and shadowy. In fact, it was Pitch perfect.

"Where are we going?!" Ana exclaimed.

"It's a surprise!" Olivia answered in a singsong tone. Olivia loaded her belongings and Ana into the bus, but hopped back out as she was going to collect the other students she was taking on this trip.

Olivia returned after several, long boring minutes with a tall, light yellowish brown haired girl in a hoodie, a shorter girl with curly, whitish blonde hair, and a short, plump boy with brown hair and a rolling bookbag. The boy was slightly annoyed, but had an inner excitement of not having to be in his regular classes. The girl with curly blonde and hair and the girl in the hoodie were talking to each other, as well as Olivia, who seemed to be telling them where they were going was a surprise. The small group of teenagers loaded onto the bus, chattering away and asking Olivia a million different questions.

"Load up your stuff and pick a seat everyone!" Olivia instructed the newly loaded students. "We have a few stops to make and then we can head on to our destination!"

Ana was already seated in the row beside the driver's seat, while the two girls made their way to the back. The boy sat behind the driver's seat, where Olivia plopped down.

Sarah, the curly haired blonde, gasped and shouted, "Olivia, are you driving!?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the hoodie girl, Gailan, ejaculated in her 'attitude voice' and waving her finger. "Who's driving the bus?"

"Oh, no," Neel Patrick, the boy, exclaimed, pulling himself to his feet. "If Olivia's driving, I'm outta here!"

"Oh, too late," Olivia said in a fake cutesy tone, her hand raised to her cheek in mock surprise. "I'm already driving!"

Neel Patrick was thrown down, half by himself, half by the sudden motion of the bus as the somewhat insane driver started off. Olivia was, however, EXTREMELY careful while driving.

"Welcome to the Party Elk!" Olivia yelled over the engine, laughing. Sarah and Gailan cheered, throwing fists into the air. Neel Patrick's face contorted into extreme confusion, blended in with annoyance. Ana dropped her face into her hands, signifying her exasperation, yet she laughed, because her friend could be funny, in a weird way. "Our first stop is at a middle school in another district, so it will be a while before we get going to our final stop. HOWEVER, this is the Party Elk, so what radio station do you want to listen tooooo...Ana, since you're the youngest?"

"102.5?" The girl suggested. "Or 97.7, if you want."

"102.5 is good," her friend reasoned. "Most people would probably like it better."

Olivia flicked on the radio switch, adjusted the station, and blasted the volume at a somewhat comfortable level. The station was currently running through its vast selection of commercials, so Olivia changed it to 97.7. This station, after a breif explanation of what the station did better than the others, played the song 'Working for the Weekend.'

"I love this song!" Olivia ejaculated, squirming in her seat in an attempt to dance while driving. Ana moved her fists up and down as her dance movement, while Neel Patrick pulled out his phone and began to do whatever he preferred to do on electronic devices. Sarah and Gailan danced in the back like there was no tomorrow. Most everyone was having fun. MOST everyone.

After a thirty minute drive full of singing, dancing, changing channels, and avid discussions, the Party Elk pulled into the school's drive-around, where two teenagers stood. One, a female with curly brown hair in a pony tail had the other, male with silvery-white hair and a blue hoodie, put an arm around her. He seemed to be consoling her. However, as the bus rolling in, the female glanced up and pointed, shouting in excitement. The bot smiled and relinquished his grasp on the girl, turning to pick up a staff on the ground beside him.

The two teenagers scrambled into the bus, lugging bags with them. The male was, of course, the world renowned Jack Frost. The female was another of Olivia's friends, Celia. Jack and Celia loaded Celia's belongings into the luggage racks abkve the seat behind Ana, where they piled in. After they situated themselves, Olivia closed the doors and started off again.

"Where are we going?" A voice asked, accompanied by a head wearing light brown hair and glasses. "To the dump!" Another voice answered, sarcasm interwoven within it. This boy wore freckles, glasses, and a flame for hair.

Olivia glanced at the stowaways in one of the middle rows, the brown-haired boy bickering back and answering in a smart alecky manner.

"Liam! What are you doing here?!"

"Olivia, why are you driving?!" Her brother, Liam, exclaimed. He was the brown-haired one. "That's your sister?" His friend, Logan, ejaculated.

"Yeah!" The driver answered.

Jack looked to Olivia. "You have a brother?" He inquired, his voice laced with skepticism.

"I have two!" Olivia amended.

"I me too!" Sarah shouted.

"I've got one, does that count?" Ana piped up.

"Anybody got a sister?" Jack broached.

"I've got two," Celia told him.

"I'm a single child, so I have no idea what you're talking about," Neel Patrick laughed.

The ride continued on like this, conversations, singing and dancing, and associating with each other. Eventually, Gailan asked Ana, "Why are you... talking to the air?"

"Oh, craptastic! I forgot! Gailan, Sarah, Neel Patrick, and Logan, you have to believe in Jack Frost and the Boogeyman," Olivia ordered.

"Okay," Sarah agreed.

"Um, why?" Gailan questioned.

"So you can see them," Olivia explained. "And so you don't get a snowball in your face."

Jack grinned. Icy crackles snapped in the air as a snowball formed in his palm.

"Alright," Gailan said.

The Winter Spirit lobbed a hidden snowball at the girl in the hoodie.

Gailan's expression became contorted in shock and she threw up a hand in a karate chop pose. "WHO THREW A SNOWBALL?!"

"Me," Jack answered.

Gailan, Sarah, and Logan gasped, mouths hanging like a passed out person in another's arms.

Neel Patrick was on his phone.

As the day passed, the Party Elk travelled along northwards, only stopping for a lunch and restroom break at 12:00. Proceeding lunch, many of the riders took a nap to recharge their hyperactivity. Jack even offered to drive to give Olivia a break. After debating his responsibility level, she finally agreed, but only if she was up at the front. Hours passed along the more quiet stretch of the road. The sky began to grow darker and night lingered in the air.

Ana was shaken by Olivia. The sky was dyed with midnight and stars. The Party Elk rested in edge of a forest. The bus was warm with sleep, and Ana was not the only one having to be woken up. In fact, Jack was the only one able to stay awake. The groggy accumulation of teens and pre-teens shuffled off the bus with their coats and electronic devices, leaving the comfort of the air conditioned bus for the bitter night air. Only Jack, Olivia, Sarah, and Gailan were happy about the chill. Jack shot a smile to Olivia and then to Ana, who shivered. Olivia pulled the group onward through the undergrowth, until a ragged hole appeared before them.

"Olivia! Wait! Let's get out of here!" Jack hissed, speeding up his stride to get in front of the girl.

"Jack, chill out. I have this under control," Olivia assured him, manuverating out of his path. Jack shuffled back in front of her.

"No, seriously, this is Pitch's lair. Not a good place."

"Maybe for the average Joe, but not us!" Olivia grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to the Removable Point of Discontinuity in the ground. The others of the field trip gathered around the pair, one certain, one not.

Jack stratched the back of his neck. "Um, how do I know you're planning something really crazy?"

Olivia smiled. "You know me too well." And with that, she began to lower herself down into the shadowy depths below.

* * *

><p>When the Neel Patrick (after everyone else) had both feet on solid ground (with much assistance from Jack), the kids huddled in a clump, accessing their surroundings. They were located in Pitch's lair, a mysterious cavern filled with swooping arches, cruel cages suspended from the ceiling, and walkways that leaned in odd angles. What little rays of sunlight that fought through acted as a spotlight for a bronze globe mottled in lights. Instead of creating a dulcet effect to the atmosphere, its contrast only made the shadows darker and safer for those who did not wish to show their face...<p>

"I'm thinking that this is going to go the top ten list of my best ideas and devious plots!" Olivia ejaculated with quiet intensity.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming," a british voice said, his voice soft and mocking.

Several people yelped at the sudden newcomer, who stepped out of the shadows. His golden eyes appeared first, accompanied by a nasty grin. The man was lithe and cloaked in a long, trailing robe. His skin was unusual and gray, and his hair was in a spike towards the back. It was Pitch.

"Greetings, children."

Jack lunged foreward to the front of the group, brandishing his staff in a defensive stance. "Pitch!"

"Frost? What are you doing here?" Pitch demanded.

"S' up, Pitchy Poo!" Olivia and Ana chorused.

Snickers rustled through the crowd, but Pitch smiled, leaving Jack with somewhat wider eyes. The Boogeyman clasped his hands together.

"So, what exactly did you have in mind for when you arrived here?"

Olivia gave a breathy chuckle. "I'll never tell." At this remark, Gailan and Sarah snickered.

"Well, then, why don't we start with introductions?" The Nightmare King suggested. "I am Pitch, the Nightmare King and Boogeyman." He gave a slight bow.

"I'm Sarah!"

"I'm Gailan."

"The name's Neel Patrick. Nice to meet you." The boy surged foreward to vigirously shake Pitch's hand.

"I'm Celia!"

"And I know Olivia, Ana, and Jack fairly **well**."

Pitch turned to Liam and Logan. "And... you are...?"

"My name's Logan," the ginger replied.

"I'm Liam," Olivia's brother mumbled.

"You're Lame? Your name is Lame?" The Boogeyman said.

"Le- UM!" The boy shot back, overenunciating the two syllables.

"Oh, pardon me, Le- UM."

Liam groaned. "Not again! It's Liam! Not 'Le- UM!'"

"Actually, it is Le- UM," Olivia countered, trying not to laugh.

"No, it's not!" Liam protested.

"Suuuurrrrre..." his sister teased.

Nightmares, with their bruise colored, shiny exteriors and streams of black sand flowing majestically behind them, trotted out of the shadows to circle around the cluster of youths. Sarah gasped, her hands on he cheeks. "Can I ride the shadow pony?"

Pitch looked at her in the slightest of confusions, stroking the nightmare that had wandered up to his reach in a mindless motion. "You may ride them... if you fearless enou-"

Sarah was already clambering up onto a hapless nightmare that had strayed in her path. The beast reared in her attempt to dislodge the girl from her back. Of course, Sarah was able to swing a leg onto the top of her back and cling to her neck. Laughter rippled through the others at the shaking Sarah on the bucking nightmare. Sarah did manage to drag herself into a proper riding position and grabbed the strands of nightmare sand in a sort of bridle.

"Oo! Oo! Do you have any cool weapon things?!" Gailan broached Pitch, jumping up and down.

Pitch summoned his** (Pitch has just told me not to forget that it is 'awesome' *insert my scrunched up face with tounge sticking out*)** scythe and twirled it around, studying it, before he thrust it at Gailan. "Does this count?"

Gailan reached out to stroke the scythe, inquiring, "Can I have it?"

"No, but you may hold it."

Gailan took the weapon in her hand, slammed it into the floor, and flashed everyone her devious smirk face. "I need a blazer to go with this!" Pitch swirled his hand, summonning the article of clothing Gailan wanted for. Sarah steered the tamed nightmare over to Gailan, instructing her to 'hop on, and ride off into the sunset with me!' Her friend jumped on the back of the beast, brandishing the scythe like a... well, a Gailan.

"Okay, Pitch, it is now therapy time!" Ana exclaimed.

"No, thank you," he reciprocated.

"But _why?!_" Ana wailed.

The Boogeyman groaned, burying his face in his hand. "I-"

"Nice dress!" Celia commented. Jack, Logan, and Liam burst out laughing. Sarah, Gailan, Ana, Celia, and Olivia joined in a beat later.

Pitch looked up, his face an inch from exploding. "WHAT. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"All I said was I like your dress," Celia said.

"Oh, how clever," the Nightmare King sneered. "As if I haven't heard that already!"

"Sorry, Celia," Olivia mumbled.

"You've already insulted his man dresss?!" Celia exclaimed.

"Yeah..." Ana trailed off, looking awkwardly at the floor, while Olivia fixated her gaze on a cage in the distance.

Pitch glared at one girl to another. Pitch laughed, still shooting looks at them. "You are all so mean to me!"

Olivia coughed on a laugh. "Occupational hazard."

"Aw, shut up," he moaned. "I've had to deal with you enough."

"SOMEONE NEEDS A HUG," Olivia declared, shuffling over to embrace Pitch. "Group hug!" Gailan exclaimed, throwing her hands into the and dismounting the nightmare to join in on the hug attack. Ana, too, walked over to hug Pitch.

"I'm not sure how to think about this," Jack said, his face scrunched up in scrutiny.

"Euuuuuuuuuuuw!" Logan bellowed.

"THAT'S not weird," Liam commented.

"Hey!" Neel Patrick protested. "You can't randomly hug people without me!" Then the boy approached the group and added to the layers of people.

At first, Pitch had been amused by Olivia and a FEW of her friends showing concern for him, but when half the group was suffocating him with their embrace, his hard to come by softness harden to the usual annoyance. This emotion radiated from his facial expression, warning the huggers that the time for latching on to the Nightmare King was OVER!

"Get off of me!" Pitch barked, shoving the nearest person away from him. At his command, everyone detatched and dispersed. Except Olivia.

"Ooooliviaaaa! Get. Off. NOW."

"What's the password?"

"Get off before I kill you."

"You are a terrible guesser."

The Boogeyman attempted to wedge the girl off of himself. "Urg... get... off... Unhand me, child! Someone... help... uh, Jack, help... please!"

"If you can't do anything thing, neither can I," Jack said, raising his palms in defense. Pitch ceased to struggle, and instead let his arms hang limp. "Olivia, please get off of me. This hug has lasted too long for comfort!"

"Sure thing, Pitchy Poo," Olivia chirped, releasing the Nightmare King and slipping away. Pitch's mouth hung ajar.

"How do hugs make you feel, Pitch?" Ana interrogated.

"Warm and fuzzy inside," the man told her sarcastically.

"That's good... wait, really?"

"No, Ana."

"Oh, okay..."

Celia butted in. "What sort of evil things do you do?"

Pitch zoned in on his prey, or at least the expression on his face gave the feel of. The Boogeyman stepped in closer to Celia. "I spread fear and terror across the globe. I give you nightmares and know every single one of your fears."

"Stalk much?"

"Why, yes... Yes I do!" Pitch hissed in delight and loomed over the girl. Celia leaned back, palms raised. "Um, Olivia? Help!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I'M A HUNDRED AND THREE! PITCH LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY AND I NEED TO PEE!"

Pitch straightened up and glanced around the cavern. "Where are you, Olivia!?"

Olivia's voice came from above them. "Woah... the way you say my name is amazing! It's all British and stuff!"

The Nightmare King scowled as he began to pick out Olivia from all the chaotic decorations of his lair. "Stop playing in the shadows, little girl!"

"Up here, you great twig!" Olivia yelled, revealing her location, standing on the globe, to Pitch.

"Get down from there at once!" Ordered the boogeyman.

"Um, you might wanna check out what Ana's doing, Pitchy Poo."

Pitch whirled around to fing Ana, with Sarah, Gailan, Celia, and Jack spectating, graffiting the walls. The drawing she sketched was a (really good) impression of Pitch's expression at the moment. The drawing-Pitch was glaring at the drawing-kids hugging him and grunting, "Ew, get off!" After a few moments of admiration or confusion, Gailan broke in on the general group's moment.

"Is there a gift shop?"

"No," the Nightmare King answered defensively.

"Darn it!"

"Can I give the nightmare a name?" Sarah broached.

"It already has a name: Onyx! My best nightmare!" Pitch explained.

Olivia broke into the song, 'Reindeers Are Better Than People,' only with different words. She also had hopped off of the globe, gotten behind Pitch, and was mocking his voice and moving his arms around.

"Nightmares are better than people. Onyx, don't you think I'm right?"

Changing voices, she replied, as Onyx, "People will beat you and curse you and cheat you. Everyone of them's bad, except you."

Imitating Pitch again (who looked ready to slap her in the face), Olivia continued, "But people smell better than nightmares. Onyx, don't you think that's true?"

"That's once again true, for all except you."

"You got me, let's call it a night!"

"Goodnight!"

"Don't let the frostbite, bite!"

The teenagers and kids burst into laughter. Even Jack, who had never seen the movie Frozen, broke into a laughing fit. Olivia chuckled while she watched her handiwork, a grin plastered over half her face. Pitch was tired of hosting these pesky children in his PRIVATE lair. The Nightmare King could deal with Olivia's foolishness only because he was used to it; it even amused him if he felt in the mood. But when she brought all of her crazy friends AND his least favorite Guardian, Jack Frost, to annoy him, he needed them out of his wat and a little something to make him feel better.

"Okay, I believe getting back home is in order?" Pitch moaned.

Olivia's expression jumped in surprise. "Oh, yeah, our parents are supposed to come pick us up! The field trip must end!"

A chorus of 'Awwwwwwwwww!'s rose from the crowd of kids. "Oh, go on, get out of here," Pitch shooed them. The man helped them get out of his lair.

"Ah, finally," Pitch sighed, turning back to his globe. "I can plo- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

Neel Patrick's head rocketed upward as the Boogeyman yelled at him. "Don't kill me, please!"

Pitch's hand met his face. "I hate Olivia's ideas."

Mwahahahaha! Another Annoy Pitch Mission completed! I hope you laughed and enjoyed my story! If you like my humorous adventures of annoying Pitch and doing crazy stuff with the Guardian characters, would any of you enjoy a longer story with chapters and a plot? Let me know!


	3. Boulevard of Broken Legs

**Boulevard of Broken Legs**

Pitch groaned. His leg was broken! The Nightmare King had fallen off his tricycle. ("Lies! She lies, I tell you!") Okay, fine! He had been tripped up by Jack Frost, who had laid out a patch of ice "just for him!" He summonned a nightmare and staggered up onto his feet. Pitch scrammbled up on the steed and rode to the nearest hospital.

"Can anybody here me?" He shouted.

As usual, no one answered his hail.

"Of course," he muttered, turning the beast away from the building and oblivious people.

Pitch returned to his underground retreat of solitude. He, with the assistance of his minions, situated a quiet spot on his couch with a few pillows and an ice pack. Pitch settled down to close his eyes and plot, maybe even take a dreamless nap.

"WE CAME AS SOON AS WE HEARD!" Olivia shouted, as she, Ana, and Jack came into Pitch's lair. The Boogeyman's eyes flashed open. He spotted Jack with a sack.

"What are you doing here, you little pests?" Pitch demanded.

"We're here to make you feel better!" Ana exclaimed, tossing a handful of black, sparkly glitter into the air.

Olivia dug into the sack and pulled out a pink piece of paper. The girl handed it to Pitch with a, "Here!"

The Nightmare King took the paper and saw it was a card. He opened it to find several unicorns and an overload of glitter surrounding the words, "Feel better soon!"

He smiled in an uncharacteristically sincere way. "How thoughtful!" The smile withered into a death glare as he ripped it in half, tossed it away, and leaned back, eyes closed.

"We made you a few extra copies!" Olivia said, while Jack dumped at least one hundred sparkly, pink monstrosities onto Pitch.

Pitch growled in disgust and swatted the cards away, thundering, "Get out NOW!"

"But we still have more things to show you, silly!" Ana laughed. The girl then dug around in the sack until she found a remote. Ana pointed it to the the couch and began to adjust the angle of the couch. However, it had little effect.

"Why isn't this working?!" The girl demanded, mashing the button to bring the back rest foreward. Ana heard a girly scream and a thump! as the back snapped foreward, sandwiching Pitch in the couch.

"Oops," she peeped.

"Let me try," Olivia said. Ana handed the remote to her friend, who began to adjust the couch to its original position.

Pitch saw that, unless he could head them off, he was in for a torturous day. Demanding screams hadn't worked well, so he attempted diplomacy.

"I, uh, appreciate this, but I was thinking of having a quiet day ALONE." He flashed them a subtle 'I-will-kill-you-later' look.

"Don't worry!" Jack assured him sarcastically. "You won't even know we're here!"

"Please leave me alone!" Pitch begged.

"Not until you have some soup!" Ana chirped, pulling out a thermos, bowl, and spoon. The girl handed the bowl and spoon to Olivia, and she emptied the contents- chicken noodle soup- into the dish.

Olivia handed the hot dish to Pitch, who refused it. "I do not need this- this..." The Boogeyman objected.

"Soup?" Ana offered.

"Yes, that," Pitch finished, flicking hjs hand dismissively.

"Well, of course you need soup!" Jack retorted. "It'll help with your cold!"

"I don't have a cold, you brainless morons!" Pitch roared.

"Don't be rediculous, Pitchy Poo," Ana said, while the trio attempted to conceal their laughter.

Jack pulled out a stethoscope from the sack they had brought and turned to the Nightmare King. The teenage Guardian placed the device in his ears and walked over to Pitch. Jack then took the amplifying end of the stethoscope and stuck it on Pitch's forehead.

"What are you doing?" The Boogeyman asked, his voice a moan.

"Taking you temperature," the Winter Sprite responded.

Pitch groaned and rubbed his face, forcing Jack to have to stop 'taking his temperature.'

The Guardian studied the device around his neck, saying in a sagely way, "Hm, looks like you're a bit too hot." Jack looked up, grinning like an idiot. "Never FEAR, Pitch! I can remedy that!"

The Winter Spirit kicked his staff into the air and caught it. Then, he shot a blast of icy-ness above Pitch's head, resulting in a light sprinkling of snow that lasted for a couple moments.

"Jack!" Olivia exclaimed. "Everyone knows you're supposed to break a fever by making him hotter!"

"Hotter?" Jack echoed.

"Yeah, by putting blankets and stuff on him," the girl explained.

"Yes, but I'm plenty warm," Pitch quelled the possible attack to his dignity. His brilliance flared up in the spark of an idea. "Why don't you go get some crayons and such to make me a pretty picture?"

"Okay!" Olivia agreed. "I'll go get more sparkles! C'mon, Ana, we'll decorate his lair!"

"And I'll get some lunch!" Jack added.

"And don't bother coming back!" Pitch called cheerily after them. "If I need anything, I'll call you!"

"See you later!" Ana said as they left.

"I'll find something particularly nasty for you three later!" Pitch vowed in a mutter. He breathed a sigh of relief and settled back into plotting. This turned to daydreaming of ways of torturing Jack, Ana, and Olivia or twisting them to evil against one another. He smiled in blissful pleasure.

The trio returned a couple hours later with more supplies. Olivia and Ana lugged in paint supplies, while Jack carried a stack of pizza boxes. Olivia spotted Pitch, who appeared to be asleep, and whispered to the others, "Be quiet; Pitchy Poo is sleeping!"

Jack set lunch down on a table, while the two girls set their supplies on the ground. While they were away, the three friends had exchanged their regular clothes for bummy clothes: old, worn vestments for painting and getting dirty.

"Okay," Olivia began in a whisper. "Jack, you and Ana are painting the main hall, while I'll tackle his personal room. Got it?"

"Yep!" Ana chirped.

"Right," Jack agreed.

They began their work.

Pitch, who had never been asleep at all, finally noticed something amiss when he heard a laugh. It came from Olivia, who was snickering at Jack's joke. Ana half-choked on her pizza laughing.

"What are you doing here?" Pitch demanded.

"Look around!" Olivia suggested.

Pitch averted his gaze from the teens and looked around his shadowy abode. It was no longer shadowy and creepy, however. It was an azure blue color. His bronze Globe of Belief had been replaced by a swanky, new black one. New lighting fixtures had been added throughout the lair. Over the globe was a light structure composed of perserved ice crystals and snowflakes. The fixture sent light throughout Pitch's lair by reflecting light beams from the lights positioned around the room.

Pitch could not decide what to say. Did he really like the fresh change? Or did he want to summon up pure darkness and crush those brats?

"So, how do you like it?" Ana asked.

"I-I can't say," Pitch stammered.

Olivia exclaimed, "Wait till you see your room!" (Which happened to be painted in rainbow sparkles, by the way)

"My room?" Pitch echoed. Strange excitement bubbled within him. He was confused. Few people saw Pitch, and even if they did, they feared and hated him. No one did things like paint his lair for him. Even if the style didn't match his tastes.

"Th-thank y-you?" Pitch mumbled.

"Pizza?" Jack offered.

"I must confess I have never eaten pizza before," Pitch said, accepting a slice from Ana.

Pitch studied the slice of pizza for a moment; it had pepperoni covering the top.

"I am not accustomed to eating this. Do I not need a fork?" Pitch broached.

"Just bite it, dummy," Olivia laughed.

Pitch's emotions returned to a familiar place: annoyance.

"I may be injuried, but I expect you to fear me and respect my name!"

"Um, how about 'no'?" Olivia retorted.

"You have no choice! I am the-" Pitch ranted.

Jack rolled his eyes and shoved Pitch's hand up to his mouth, forcing the pizza into his pie hole. The Nightmare King began to choke. "-Nauhmae Ing!"

The three teens began to giggle uncontrollably.

Pitch spat out the food, coughing and hacking. He wiped his mouth and turned on Jack.

"Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" The Boogeyman roared.

"Oh, sorry, accident." Jack smiled apologetically.

"You know very well it wasn't! I demand you leave at once! All of you!" Pitch commanded.

"Time for a nap!" Olivia declared.

"What?" Pitch, Jack, and Ana exclaimed.

"Jack, go get some pillows. Ana, throw some glitter in the air. Pitch, be confused," Olivia ordered.

"Sir, yes sir!" Jack said military fashion, laughed, and shot off. Ana brought out her bottles of glitter and dumped handfuls into her palms. Shining colors filled the air, covering Olivia and Pitch. Pitch was bemused.

"What are you doing NOW?" He snarled.

Olivia simply stood there with her hands on her hips, legs spread in a authoritive stance, as well as a strange grin on her face. Ana showered Pitch in sparkles.

Jack returned with several plush pillows, many of them fuzzy. With Olivia's help, he removed the old, tattered, black ones Pitch used and replaced them with the new ones. Pitch placed his head in his hands, sighing melodramactically.

"Are you quite finished? Will you allow me some time alone?"

"Someone needs a lullaby!" Olivia declared in a singsong voice.

"Oh, please no!" Pitch protested.

Olivia, then Ana, and finally Jack began to sing terribly (on purpose):

"Rock-a-bye Pitchy in the tree top.

When the wind blows,

The cradle will rock.

When the branch breaks,

The cradle will fall.

Down will come Pitchy,

Cradle and all!"

Jack held the last note for a ridiculously long time, adding extra off-key note switches. When he stopped, the trio burst out into laughter.

"Ugh, you disgust me!" Pitch hissed.

"'Bye, Pitch! See you later!" Olivia yelled, and herded her friends out of Pitch's lair.

"We'll call you!" Ana added, and they snickered.

Who said Mondays were terrible after all?


	4. Midnight Hour

**Hello, again! This is kinda short, but is basically a little filler blurb to make up for my laziness until I can get my longer chapter out!**

**Hope it's okay!**

* * *

><p>I sprinted, as hard as I could, dodging trees, climbing steep hills, splashing through streams and lakes with a furious breaststroke. Nothing coukd stop them. The nightmares cantered in the distance, hard on my heels. Their shrieks echoed across the empty, endless woods. I could hear the bizarre laughter of the boogeyman, of Pitch.<p>

I thought he was my friend.

I thought he would never do this to me.

I felt so... betrayed. Broken. Our trust had been defiled.

So I pressed onward.

After a while, my strength began to wither. My chest was seared with the desperation for oxygen. I was beginning to slow. My mind, despite the will to flee, finally overrided the need to escape. I slowed to a stop, leaning on a trunk for support, panting. I slid to the ground, gasping in air. The nightmare circled around me, barricading me in the ring of trees. At the crest of the slope stood Onxy, Pitch's best nightmare with the Nightmare King atop her.

"There's no where left to run, Olivia," Pitch called down to me, "And you're so tired. Why not give in?"

"Never!" I exclaimed, sending my lungs back a bit in their effort to restore more heart rate to normal.

The boogeyman steered his nightmare up to me in a steady trot. He had time to waste. Then, once he was several paces away from my feet, Pitch stopped. The air was stiff as we held eye contact, warring in our gazes. He smirked down at me whilst I glared back up at him. The Nightmare King finally dismounted, reaching my side.

"Give in," he whispered, gentle and reassuring. "We can make it work."

I shook my head dazedly. "No, Pitch!"

The Nightmare King leaned into my face until he was moment away from me. I stared into his silvery-gold eyes that seemed to probe my mind. I reached out, fingers trembling, to caress his face. "Pitch..."

I slapped the boogeyman.

"HOW MANY BLOODY TIMES DO I GOTTA TELL YOU?" I shouted. "I'M NOT GETTING YOU JACK TIED UP ON A PLATTER WITH AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY!"

"But that's not faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair!" Pitch wailed. "You promised me something good!"

"I'M TAKING YOU SHOPPING TOMORROW!" I yelled. "YOU CAN GIVE ME IDEAS THEN!"

"I already gave you a whole list of reasons why I need that!" Pitch protested.

"Yeah, and they were awful!" I retorted. "If you keep whining, I'm going to get a rabid cat for you, and then I'm going to THROW IT AT YOUR FACE!"

"Fine," the boogeyman grumbled. "I'll wait!"

* * *

><p><strong>Well, things worked out. I gave Pitch a stuffed unicorn (he calls it a nightmaricorn) and a book that may or may not be about his secret brothercousin in it.**

**He seems pretty happy. But I haven't let him near Jack or any apples for a while.**


End file.
